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It’s been awhile, hasn’t it boyz ‘n gurlz.

I gotsta tellz ya that ‘ol Tazzy has been on out there healing wounds, and sourcing out new paths to traverse.

I think it’s important to note that June is now the official month on my calendar for personal reclamation. After several very painful events this last year, I’m finally walking the path I wanted to travel.

Boy, when someone asks how I got to this point, I’m simply going to reply that I’ve paid my dues.

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last few weeks. One thing is that I honestly like myself, for maybe the very first time in my life. I guess being down these old roads I’ve travelled has taught me that love starts with the bear in the mirror. Ain’t no one else gonna love me if I don’t first. Point taken. It’s too bad it’s taken so long to get here, but fuck it, I’m up for the challenges over the next half of my life. I’ve earned this.

As a gift to myself, I sauntered off to the wilds recently. There I got to become part of “The Walton’s”.

Let me paint you a picture.

Where the "boys" became "girls" for a spell. Hope the fish have finally stopped laughing

Me, making merry with an old wood stove. That in itself was an adventure. Thing I won’t ever forget was the sheer joy of scooping water out of the lake, filtering the fish turds out of it with a dish towel, boiling it (and steam cooking myself in the process). Then, once bubbling and brewing, it merrily made for lovely cups of coffee, shaving water, dish water, cleaning water, water-water everywhere. It was something I won’t soon ever forget.

I loved it.

Then, to add to my little “Laura Ingalls-Wilder” routine (or more accurately, Lizzie Borden) I got to “make wa-wa” anywhere I wanted! It was a fool’s paradise. Just point and shoot! My thinking is it was going to keep the ‘coons from getting too friendly with the groceries.

But the part of my “toilette” I could have done without was the older than old multi-user poopshack. Unlike outhouses I’ve used throughout rare occasions in my life, this one didn’t have any form of liquid deep down. No. It was a “pooper-scooper”. I’m so thankfully fortunate that the ONLY scooping I needed to do was stove ash sprinkled directly upon my leavings. It sounds gross, and I suppose it is. But not as nasty as all manner of insects flying and crawling up your butt when you’re seated for your morning symphony of “Beethoven’s 1st movement”. I truly knew what “Dirty Sally” and “Daniel Boone” must have had to deal with daily.  I’m thankful though that I didn’t have to pick my own leaves. At least I got to bring some of the 21st century in there with me.

Charmin Bears…eat your heart out!

Then there were the lakeside baths.

If you’ve ever been to the ocean, you’ll know what I’m about to write here. There is nothing more eye-opening than bathing in a lake. It’s not to be beat. It takes a great deal of bravery for a soul used to hot showers to plunge into Lake Frostee to suds up his will-nots. That is, if you can find them. Because by the time the water has its way with your naughty bits, you’ve just become an “innie” where once an “outtie” had resided. You’re flash frozen for the amusement of the large lake Pike swimming about your ankles. Lather, rinse, repeat, and then stick a finger in your mouth and blow down hard until everything pops back out.

After that wakey wakey in the lakey lakey, I’m not bitching so much about the beetles seeking shelter in my private crevices.

Then there was the joyous noises of the wild that greeted you from dusk til dawn.

The sounds of Loons making love calls was an incredible concert. It’s amazing and soul inspiring all at once. But I honestly can say here, amongst friends, that I didn’t feel such romance towards the raccoons taking on the roles of Xena and Gabrielle outside the lodge. You could almost hear the chakra whizzing through the air as these furry protagonists battled over stale sugar covered in “point and shoot”. I honestly thought I was listening to a Nina Hagen cd. It really had a diva like quality to it, that “Battle Hymn Of The Screeching Harpies” I enjoyed so much. It’s too bad I didn’t have a mixer to overdub and sample it to. I coulda had a million seller on my hands.

It’s truly a miracle that I got to be a part of all this naturalness. It proved to me that I could live a lot more simply and not really miss the computer, the DVD’s, the cellphone, the perfectly ordered house and all the accoutrements that go with it. I got a chance to be that much closer to God during that time. And I feel all the richer for the experience.

My thanks for the amazing visit. It’s one for the books!

Cheerz!

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