Can somebody explain how rape can possibly ever be rationalized as being the victims fault?

A search through the soul of a moral man couldn’t possibly equate the words “no”, “stop”, “let me go” and “please don’t” to “yes”, “go ahead”, “restrain me big boy” or “yes, I want you too.”

How a woman’s dressed, how she comports herself in public, what have you, should never be misconstrued for “please do as you wish, no matter how much I fight back or object”. Travelling home on a bus most certainly should not invite being violated physically to the point of death.

It’s despicable that people, can state, even in jest, that being raped is in any way caused or aggravated by the victim in question.

On the rare occasions that a woman might actually decide to titillate and tease, and there are those that do, the second the word no leaves her lips, that’s the end of the interaction, period. You walk away, even if you’re hot and bothered. Under no circumstances does that sort of behaviour ever make physical violation OK.

We, as people, are all born into this world with essentially a blank slate. As we grow and develop, certain characteristics emerge. Some of us will be hard-wired to become type-a personalities. Others may end up demonstrating amazing physical dexterity. In short, we’re all products of our environment, as well as genetics.

But what in our DNA compels us to take life, or to become any sort of predator. Well, it’s a natural consensus to some that negative environment coupled with being “wired wrong” all aid in creating the sociopathic and amoral human beings that live among us. And we, the majority that are not part of that unfortunate minority, are always shocked when one of them demonstrates their complete lack of self-control and conscience. And we truly are within our rights to feel that way. For a rapist is as vile as a paedophile and a murderer. The damage they inflict is permanent, traumatizing and soul-destroying. There is no apology great enough, no act of contrition grand enough or a prison sentence long enough to return what is forever lost to the unfortunate soul at the receiving end of any such assault. 

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She asked for it?

Yesterday, there was a mixed reaction of anger and gladness when the press announced that the bus driver in the India rape case committed suicide.

Considering the heinous nature of his role in this crime, it’s difficult to feel anything related to sympathy or sadness  for his demise.

This man, a paid professional, never stopped for a second to think about the two victims he was forever scarring, or their families. And as it turns out, the world.

As a professional, the safety of these passengers was completely his responsibility. When a situation developed that put those two riders in jeopardy, he absolutely should have alerted the proper authorities, and intervened to stop the aggression. Instead, he helped aid in assault, rape, and as it turns out, murder. And in doing so, he’s as filthy an animal as the gang that started the situation moving tragically forward.

What shocked the world was when the defence lawyer blamed the now deceased woman for not being “a respectable lady”, and that if she had been, and deferred to her assailants as being “weaker” instead of resisting, that these animals would have then had the strength to resist attacking her.

There have also been a few loose quotes from men in India that have claimed it was her fault for travelling on a bus in the first place, as respectable women never leave their homestead.

So, if one was actually narrow-minded enough, they might be led to believe that in general, Indian men find themselves driven completely mad at the sight of a woman. And with this in mind, that madness compels them, when she dares to step outside of her homestead, to violently enact such atrocities, and that the act in question is completely her fault.

One also could say it’s time to grow the hell up boys!

Women are not playthings. They are the bringer of life. They nurture you when you are too young and defenceless to care for yourself. They wipe your tears when you fall. They clean your dirty underwear, and more often than not put up with your dirty attitudes.

Women are not born to be personal entertainment centres. They are not our underlings. They are the equal of any man, and must never be mistaken for anything less. To do so diminishes the male sex, and robs us all of decency and humanity.

It is time that men, across this great big world of ours, ALL started to take a good, close look at how we see the so-called “weaker” sex. And in doing so, it’s now also time to stop and think, long and hard, about putting the blame for our misogynistic attitudes upon the true culprit, ourselves. It certainly isn’t the fault of any woman.

If she chooses to walk down the street wearing nothing but electrical tape (I’d question her morality and sanity if she did, perhaps), that is her right. What is not the right of any man, seriously, is to put his hands upon her, in any way, shape or form, without direct verbal invitation. And, the second she puts the brakes on that interaction, right or wrong, you walk away!

Someday, with a little time and effort, perhaps, we, as men will get it right. But it has to start from the ground up.

Being a man is more than firing a gun, beating up an adversary, shaving or walking around with a furry six-pack. It’s a state of mind. It’s about having the fortitude to do the right thing, and to step up to the plate when you see the wrong thing unfolding before your eyes.

Those that cannot comprehend this are anything but men.

Respect. It’s a great concept. To those that are unfamiliar with the definition; this marvellous word is more than an Aretha Franklin tune. It’s a word that truly empowers a person. If you’re not grasping what’s being written here, you should Google it. And then, with a little more effort, walk towards your mirror take a long, hard look at yourself, and try to figure out how you can integrate this into your own psyche.

I think the man who finds he respects himself more often than not also discovers he respects those around him as well, without any qualification.

Food for thought.

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