Well, it’s been two weeks Wednesday that I started my descent from the clouds that is my 52-year-old brain; and as promised, here’s some actual writing. Whether anyone bothers to read any of this or not is up to the Gods I guess.
The doctor gave me a lovely little pill called Biphentin to control the squirrels running up inside my attic. And, let me tell you folks, these are some wild-assed squirrels!
Day one: Well, a whole lotta nothing got done. I sat there on the couch in a total coma. This shit walloped me! Totally brought me to my knees mentally.
I kind of expected I’d have to adjust to this stuff, but I’m sorta wondering what’s what right now. I mean, it is working…somewhat. The stuff has indeed slowed my brain down just a wee bit, but I’m still wrestling with those mother-loving varmints. I still see a lint burr on the sofa and suddenly the TV program is a thing of the past as I’m picking crud off the upholstery, or worse; vacuuming. Then I forget I have to start dinner, which means I have to get out the door, almost forgetting I need actual outside clothes and a shower before that happens. And then my phone rings, and I’m off on another tangent, lint, tv, meals, dog crossing his legs and dancing the dance of the RIGHT NOW OR THE FLOOR GETS IT all get launched into space.
My brain has never been normal.
So, the drug seems to calm these things a bit, but not a whole lot. I do seem to be able to focus for short periods of time, but it rarely lasts. A side effect I could do without is the moodiness. It doesn’t take much to set off the powder keg that is my temper.
Alone for now is best. Alone for now keeps the murder charges to a minimum.
So, tonight, as I write my first installment in regards to the journey I’m currently on; I wonder to myself if I’m ever going to be right in the head. For that matter; do I even want to be. I do know this much; as time passes, I know I can be so much more than I have been. This much the drug has given me…hope.
So for now, I’ll ride the wave and try grabbing a few squirrels by the tail along the way.